So, its February, and its cold, and you’ve started thinking about springtime and baseball and you’ve decided to jump on the Red Sox bandwagon. While I, personally, feel like you need to cheer for your home-town team unless you are or have been raised (like me) by a transplanted fan. If, however, you choose not to do this, its all good. Red Sox Nation is always willing to welcome one more.

So, if this is the case, here are a few rules/tips/etc. to get you through 2009 without being called a bandwagon jumper.

First, the rules.
1. No pink hats. Unless there’s some breast cancer day, pink hats are big no-nos.
2. When Kevin Youkilis is up to bat, he is not being booed, everyone is yelling “Yooouuukkk”
3. Never, EVER mention Bucky Dent or Aaron Boone without some sort of negative or
expletive.
4. If someone brings up Yaz during game, they are not talking about birth control, they are
talking about Carl Yastrzemski.
5. 99.9% of the time we will never root for the Yankees to win. The only exception to this rule
is if a Yankees win can secure the Red Sox the Wildcard or the AL East.
6. You cannot like both the Red Sox and the Yankees. Not possible, don’t even try.
7. Starting the “Yankees Suck” chant when we are not playing the Yankees is a bad plan. It
either makes everyone think you are drunk or a brand new fan.
8. If someone brings up Williams, Fisk, Lynn, Yaz, Pesky, etc, and you don’t actually know
anything about them, shhh!
9. You must know something about baseball, be sure to know what a sac-fly is, a hit-and-run,
what is and is not a save, drop third strike, fair and foul, and have a little idea what the
batting average means.
10. If you are surrounded by fans who start the whole “that’s it, we’re done” nonsense, they
are old fans, they’ve been around for a while, and they don’t actually mean “we’re done”,
they still have hope, but its a lingering knee-jerk reaction, and the longer they’ve been a
Sox fan, the longer they will have said reaction.

Now, the traditions:

We’ll start with songs. Songs at a baseball game are important. They take up the time in the middle of innings when we’re switching sides, get the fans back into the game, and entertain everyone. The Red Sox have several which are played at almost every single home game.

First, is Sweet Caroline.
Sweet Caroline is played at every game in the middle of the eighth inning. The lyrics can be found here or on the big screen at Fenway.

Next, we have Tessie.
Tessie has some history. It was originally from a Broadway play and utilized by the Royal Rooters in the early 1900s to inspire the Red Sox and taunt opposing teams. In 2004, if was re-recorded by the Dropkick Murphys and several members of the Red Sox organization, and it tells the story of the Royal Rooters. It is the second of three songs played after every Red Sox win at Fenway Park.

This is from the CD Warriors Code, by the Dropkick Murphys, explaining Tessie:

“We recorded this song in June 2004 and after giving it to the Red Sox told anyone that would listen that this song would guarantee a World Series victory. Obviously no one listened to us or took us seriously. We were three outs away from elimination in game 4 at the hands of the Yankees and receiving death threats from friends, family, & strangers telling us to stay away from the Red Sox and any other Boston sports team and get out of town. Luckily for us things turned around for the Red Sox and the rest is history.”

Then there’s Dirty Water
Dirty Water was recorded by the Standells and debuted on the radio in 1966. It is the first song played after every home victory by the Red Sox and is a tribute to Boston. Lyrics can be found here.

Finally, Joy To The World
Joy to The World is a song by Three Dog Night, it is the last of the three songs played at home Red Sox victories. Check out the lyrics here.

Finally, here are some random 2009 tid-bits you might need to know.

-Dustin Pedroia’s listed height and his apparent actually height are different. Say nothing, he’s a beastly player.
-Kevin Youkilis is Mr. Intensity. He’s not really called that. One of his nick-names is “The Greek God of Walks”. He is also not generally called that. Mostly, we call him “Youk”
-Jason Varitek is one of 4 (3?) Captains in Major League Baseball. So the “C” on his chest is a big deal.
-Wakefield pitches knuckleballs.
-Terry Francona is also referred to as “Tito”. He doesn’t chew tobacco, but he does go through tons of double-bubble every game.
-“PawSox” refers to “Pawtucket Red Sox” the AAA team for the Red Sox organization.
-The mascot is “Wally the Green Monster”, this is because the thirty-seven-foot, two-inch left field wall at Fenway, the tallest of such walls in the majors, is called “The Green Monster”. It was not actually painted green until 1947.
-When they call Jon Lester a “southpaw” this means “lefty”
-The AL East is the division the Red Sox play in. It is a tough division, because the Yankees spend so much money and the Rays have had first-round draft picks for years, so they have a lot of young talent. The Orioles and the Bluejays are also in the division.
-The bull-pen band is a term for when the bull pen gets bored or wants to distract the other team and they bang on the fence and shake things to create music. They are actually quite good.
-A Fenway Frank is a hot dog.
-Jerry Remy and Don Orsillo are the NESN announcers for the Boston Red Sox
–Fever Pitch was not that good of a movie.

That’s about all I can think of for now, so if you’re just joining us, welcome to Red Sox Nation, you’ll love it here.

Yesterday, the Red Sox minor league facility in Fort Myers was packed with veterans and newbies getting their workouts in.

Rocco Baldelli, Brad Penny, John Smoltz and Takashi Saito all arrived two days before pitchers and catchers were supossed to report to get their feet wet with a new team.

Co-aces Josh Beckett and Jon Lester were there as well, along with Kevin Youkilis. Lester and Beckett weren’t scheduled to report until tomorrow (thursday) and Youk wasn’t supposed to be in until Sunday, there they all were, the proverbial early birds just trying to get the worm.

Of course, this goes right along with Youk’s reputation as “Mr. Intensity”, and for me, means that baseball is back. And this is a good thing, because if I have to hear one more thing about Miss October (A-Rod) having juiced, I might scream.

There seem to be certain teams, certain locker room cultures across the league that seemed to condone the use of steroids at one time or another. And if you are in that culture, you’re probably going to do it. I’m not defending A-Rod, seriously, would I actually do that? But if he’s stopped, he’s stopped, and you don’t have to add an asterisk to any of his stats from those years because we will all do it in our minds, our own mental asterisks.

But with Spring Training officially starting tomorrow, we can move past the ugly and into what might be baseball’s most optimistic time. At this juncture, everyone thinks 2009 is going to be a great year, and for some teams, it will.

The Yankees made all the flashy moves this off-season, landing CC, Burnett, and Texiera. So that gives them a one-two-three punch of Sabathia, Burnett, and Wang. But who is their fourth starter? And their fifth? Joba made a splash last year, but he could turn into a Buchholz, he’s got fast stuff, real rocket arm, but how many innings deep can he go? His technique makes him very injury prone, so the Yanks would be smart to keep his pitch count low. And now that everyone has seen Joba, they are going to start figuring him out. And who’s the other starter? Pettite?

And the Rays? The Rays are sort of the dark horse of the AL East. Either they caught lightening in a bottle last year and will be bottom of the barrel again this year, or they’ll still be competitive in the increasingly tough AL East.

As for the Sox, I’m liking the rotation and the ‘pen. We’ve got Beckett, Lester, Dice-K, Smoltz, Penny, Wake…I’m not too sure what the rotation is going to look like, because you can never count out Masterson and Buchholz.

And while the Sox will miss quite possibly the greatest right-handed hitter of our time at Spring training, the Sox can make up for missing Manny with a meaty bunch of hitters. Pedroia, Youkilis, Drew, Ortiz, Bay, and Lowell, if they are healthy, make for a frightening batting order.

The focus this year, though, for the first time since 2000, will not be on “when will Manny show up”. The focus will be on the team, and their goal to win another World Series, and with the team we’ve got now, its a plausible goal.

*may include some non-facial hair

While we wait anxiously for baseball season to start, recover from last night’s buzzer loss to the Lakers, and wonder about Matt Cassel now that he’s been tagged, I’ve decided to lighten the mood and take a look at some of the best hair around Beantown. These are in no particular order, because I had a hard time judging soul patch against stash against scruff.

So, without Further Ado, here are some hair-raising examples.

Tom Brady may have the world’s most famous stubble, but he has been known to rock a bit more of a beard, which we suspect is in support of his mountainous o-line. The stubble is, however, much more attractive, and on Brady’s already handsome face, makes him look rugged and manly. The beard…not so much. While we appreciate the bonding, we think Tom should stick to the stubble.

Then we have everyone’s favorite slot machine, Wes Welker. He, like Pedroia, likes to shake things up, but his most famous (or infamous) cut is the mustache. Now, we secretly called it the “porn star ‘stache”, but when he rocks it with a beard, its much less creepy. All in all, we’re in favor of the light scruff, its less creepy, or clean-shaven, which is also good.

And finally…

Youk. Kevin Youkilis has been clean-shaven, but lately, he’s been rocking the goatee. We much prefer the goatee. We have a theory that its an intimidation technique, and goes well with the intense, scary, persona he has when he plays (we also think that Youk doesn’t shower to help with that persona, or at least, lets people think he doesn’t). Its the most famous goatee on the Red Sox roster, and gives us all hope that Youk will always play with intensity, grit, and consistency. Funny how a little bit of hair can say so much. Maybe the goatee is why Joba Chamberlain is out to get him?

That’s all the hair I have today. If I missed anyone or you think someone should not be on this list, let me know, maybe I’ll add them in.

We’ll be doing the “Best Of” for the next few weeks. Anything to get us through until opening day. Next up: “Best Fans”, we’ll look at Damon’s Disciples, the Bleacher Creatures, and the Royal Rooters, to name just a few.