A Hairy Situation: Boston’s Best (Facial*) Hair

*may include some non-facial hair

While we wait anxiously for baseball season to start, recover from last night’s buzzer loss to the Lakers, and wonder about Matt Cassel now that he’s been tagged, I’ve decided to lighten the mood and take a look at some of the best hair around Beantown. These are in no particular order, because I had a hard time judging soul patch against stash against scruff.

So, without Further Ado, here are some hair-raising examples.

dustinbeard.jpg

And so here we have Dustin Pedroia’s scruff/goatee. This changes throughout the season, sometimes he’s clean-shaven, sometimes he’s just got scruff, sometimes he’s got scruff and goatee, sometimes just the goatee. We applaud Dustin for his artistic shaving, and it is our opinion that the ever-changing hair is somehow tied to Tito…but we have no proof.

Next…

josh.jpeg
kesoulpatch.jpg

Josh Beckett for the Red Sox and KG for the Celtics representing the “Soul Patch”

Now, many of the C’s rock this look from week to week, but Josh is the main member of the Red Sox who so effortlessly rocks the soul patch. Again, we have no explanation for the tuft of hair these gentlemen prefer, but the way they play the game, we don’t question it.

oline.jpgThe New England Patriots O-Line, AKA “The Mountain Men”. Their signature beards are grown throughout the season until they look like this. Its either an intimidation tactic, a bonding experience, or both, but either way, I feel sorry for some of their wives. They make our list for the sheer lumberjack-ness of their hair.

papshair.jpgJonathan Papelbon’s Hair. While it doesn’t count as facial hair, its too much fun not to mention here. On one side, we have the mohawk. The entire Rays team had those last year, and they weren’t intimidating, especially on Joe Madden, but on Paps, we like it. On the other side we have the signature spiked look, which was rocked for most of the 2007 World Series run. So while its not on his face, we love it and him, so he makes the list.

tombeard.jpg

Tom Brady may have the world’s most famous stubble, but he has been known to rock a bit more of a beard, which we suspect is in support of his mountainous o-line. The stubble is, however, much more attractive, and on Brady’s already handsome face, makes him look rugged and manly. The beard…not so much. While we appreciate the bonding, we think Tom should stick to the stubble.

welker.jpgThen we have everyone’s favorite slot machine, Wes Welker. He, like Pedroia, likes to shake things up, but his most famous (or infamous) cut is the mustache. Now, we secretly called it the “porn star ‘stache”, but when he rocks it with a beard, its much less creepy. All in all, we’re in favor of the light scruff, its less creepy, or clean-shaven, which is also good.

And finally…

youkbeards.jpg
Youk. Kevin Youkilis has been clean-shaven, but lately, he’s been rocking the goatee. We much prefer the goatee. We have a theory that its an intimidation technique, and goes well with the intense, scary, persona he has when he plays (we also think that Youk doesn’t shower to help with that persona, or at least, lets people think he doesn’t). Its the most famous goatee on the Red Sox roster, and gives us all hope that Youk will always play with intensity, grit, and consistency. Funny how a little bit of hair can say so much. Maybe the goatee is why Joba Chamberlain is out to get him?

That’s all the hair I have today. If I missed anyone or you think someone should not be on this list, let me know, maybe I’ll add them in.

We’ll be doing the “Best Of” for the next few weeks. Anything to get us through until opening day. Next up: “Best Fans”, we’ll look at Damon’s Disciples, the Bleacher Creatures, and the Royal Rooters, to name just a few.

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